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But that's just not incentive enough. Especially since one of those people could send me a message saying, "Hey, let's grab a beer and catch up," and then I could totally go do that without seeing douche bags like Christopher Vitagliano at the same time.

How am I gonna hear about my old friend's home heating business or precocious triplets when Vitagliano, who's probably still spiking what's left of his hair, is like two seats over making the waitress incredibly uncomfortable..